Looking back, I've achieved a lot with the usual depression related set backs and that little fucker of a trickster voice in my head that likes to pick fights and play tricks on me but that's okay. I managed it. That's life.
Fuck, I even almost moved to Heidelberg! I kinda wish I just did it. Things get in the way. That's life. Next year perhaps then.
Time to pick up my achievements again and redouble down on them and take things further. That's life too.
It has been a surreal 12 months but positive. I think I'm in real, proper, actual recovery zone from and out of clinical BPD again 🤞
Only this time, I know a fuck load more about the condition I live with and my broken brain stuff, as in the physical science. I know and understand a whole bunch more about my past and the present and how not to be a dick. Most of the time, anyway 😬 But that's li........
I've stepped away from a lot. Now it's time to build it back, only new and healthier.
Years of gardcwork and dedicated, focused fixing my self, with help, bought me into 2021 more resilient than I have been for perhaps 17 years, a different renewed man. Hopefully a better one. Far from perfect, far from it but a better kinder version. Hopefully. I am full of hope right now. Excited about what is around the corner.
I am grateful to the little group of fellow mentals I've been secretly working away with in our fight club. But we don't talk about fight club. I can only say that these guys have overcome monumental challenges and they humble me and drag me out of my little self pity episodes. We may be divided by varying distances but you are fam. Famalam. Thankyou.
Grateful. That too, is life 🙂