S24. U3. C2. Dialects and Dialectual Thinking. Notes.

Midweek material complete for C1 ✔️ Dialectics in a nut shell: Dialectic or dialectics (Greek: διαλεκτική, dialektikḗ; related to dialogue), also known as the dialectical method, is at base a discourse between two or more people holding different points of view about a subject but wishing to establish the truth through reasoned arguments. In this session we discussed: #all or nothing thinking #black and white thinking And how this affects our IE (Interpersonal Effectiveness) in relationships. Particularly prevalent and problematic (disterous) in BPD and well, in me. It has been. We discussed root causes as we do often and it is of course all hand in hand so we already know its largely down to: #TRAUMA! ⬅️ #Parental fuck tards with their anger, neglect and abuse. #Cold, emotionally and spiritually devoid of any sustainance. Nothing. Etc We discussed at lengh: These traumatic experiences form the way think in order to survive and get through and the Black and white survival mode thinking we learn and becomes hard wired and how it goes onto affect our whole lives. Our whole outlook. How it fucks with our jobs, relationships, love life, evvvverything. We talked about identifying our B/W thinking and how vital it is to look at identifying our B/W thinking and practicing mindful thinking and techniques when we catch ourselves in a B/W zone. How's it's vital to find wise mind and not react to B/W thoughts. Thoughts that will mostly be skewed and out of proportion. How we need to stop, take time, and find space in between our chain of thoughts. #finding space in between thoughts. We looked at how important and essential it is to practice this by: Making lists on paper. Write your thoughts and feelings down. Look at pros and cons. Create chain anslysis sheets. See how your mind is working. What can be done more effectively? Look at the SNAFU and look at your reaction. Is it worth it? Avoud the default hard wired FFF B/W head space and create those spaces to think slowly in. Use skills that we have been learning and discussing. So vital. We then went on a bit of a spiritual journey and looked hard at how everything in this existence is INTERCONNECTED. I enjoyed this segment. I get my teeth into this good shit. Intitially we discussed how we are physically and mentally all connected to everything due to the very fact that every sub atomic and quantum piece of matter is essentially connected. That ofcourse means everything is connected no matter the state of material. Everything in one way or another is connected. And this went on a bit and we established that yes, we all have a connection in terms of mass and probably in terms of scientifically unknown spirituality. Perhaps. Etc. Annnywaaay.... We looked at the dynamics of reality and opposing sides of everything. How quantum physics seems to be built and operating around opposites, opposite forces. How that seems to make our existence tick along and the need for opposites to coexist. We spoke about light vs dark both in terms of science and in terms of spirituality. Good vs bad etc. This convo basically went on to point out the need to embrace opposites and how those opposites are much like other peoples opinions, world views, ideas, emotions, reactions etc and how they are essential in this life and how they must exist in order for ours to exist. They are valid, like ours is valid and in order to coexistence we must find the middle ground (wise mind) and accept that other people will not always agree with us, sometimes, at all. We used those analogies ideas and topics to discuss how we need practice acceptance with in ourselves. After discussing more analogies etc we hit upon Zen Budhism again which rings so true to me. In a nut shell it went: We can be all things at the same time. Not just one. Light and dark at the same time. We are part of a whole. All of us. Separation is an illusion. And we discussed the space inside atoms and quarks etc and how infact our physical mass exsitance is made up of more space than actual mass. This went into the philosophy that opinions and ideas and reactions are transactional and through that philosophical practice, we can move away from blame into acceptance and compromise while being mindful and eccepting of those kernels of truth on both sides of the disagreement or "opposing view points". #wise mind #middle ground #kernel of truth #intuition It's almost like taking an observers role in a debate or disagreement. Using your intuition. Taking a devil's advocate position in regards to one's own outlook and coming at it from the opposite point of view. This is wisdom. Wise mind. The middle ground. #devils advocate to self. By practicing this way of thinking, I can challenge my own extreme thinking patterns. My black and white fuck ups. Its all about challenging the self and finding a wiser, happier way. Get unstuck! Looking for the continum to mindfulness. Now that I feel I am on the mindful path in my recovery journey, I need to keep this up and keep it growing. I need to Find my way. A continum. I need to keep this journey growing in order to challenge my distortion of reality and not react to skewed dodgy thought patterns. I want this so much. I have alot of life to live and love to give and in all honesty, alot of wrongs to right and I can only do this by being a good aware person moving forward. I can't turn the clocks back and make those ill, crazy, horrid shit cunt things not exist. All though they don't. It's in the past. However, I'm never not going to feel remorse and feel gutted I lost so much through being so sick. Moving forwards, I will never ever get so ill again and if I do, I will at least know what, why and what to do about it. Fuck. Iv gone off track. To find this new found space inbetween my thinking through these practices and support is to find a type of new air to breath. That's the only way I can describe it. To realise there are more than two ways, more than black or white or right or wrong is liberating and is beginning to relieve so much pain and self hatred. Even when I'm on a fucking black psychotic one now, still stuck in that "place", I still have the idea that there is another way, a way out, another option even though I can't see it. That helps me to slow down, wait, pause, look for the "other" way. It's a fucking revelation. #fusion between acceptance and change. #flexibility #compassion for others and self. Conflict of thought. We looked at how inflict of thought is inevitable and is part of human life. It happens. Only for us faulty wired disordered type, that throws up mountainous obstacles to overcome our psyche. Hence why we need to learn acceptance skills and learn how to let opposites coexistence. Sometimes a resolution may be found later down the line after accepting the situation but often in life, it is what it is and acceptance is the key. Sometimes we are straight out wrong and acceptance is the only key. It's life. #Love vs Hate. #conflict #cognitive distortion #black and white thinking Perfectionism Conflicts in our mind often see that we don't see projects, promises, plans through from A to Z because of the noisy conflicts in our head often revolving around lack of confidence because we see ourselves as not perfect or not good or fearing judgment on what we set out to do. Our self judgment fucks it. This is sooo true for me and I'm battling with it all the time. I am challenging it but its very very difficult to overcome. I will keep challenging this and I need to accept that I am allowed to be not good at things but still enjoy doing them regardless of other people's opinion. I need to accept this huuuuuuge conflict in my mind and start seeing things through to the end. Such as: Art projects - enough with the lack of confidence. Finish shit. Share it. Enjoy it. DIY projects. Get them done. Be proud of my environment. I have the skills! Excersise - fuck other people's judgment and put myself first. My health. My head. Get in the bubble and do it. This is to name but just 3 things! Challenge the B/W conflicted head fucks and be happy. #open up vs close off - be mindful of how high or how low my walls are. #ask others for prompts re my behaviour. #notice the red flags. #engage wise mind, be willing! That's it. That's my take home notes for me today. M.