I'm not defending unchecked toxic narcissistic behaviours at all here whatsoever but I am here to say if you're going to bandy the word "narcissistic" around so very freely, at least know what it really actually fucking means before being so blasse with a serious word.
It's an all to easy in fashion go to buzz word at the moment. A cheap shot insult to belittle someone with hope of making them feel guilty or worthless or really really fucking bad about themselves and quite often levelled against people who are not on the NPD spectrum and do not deserve the label. It's inappropriate.
Narcissism, actual real cold light of day narcissism isn't a joke and it doesn't automatically make some one evil, worthy of being hunted down and burned at the proverbial social stake. Actual narcissism is a mental disorder that many manage to address with correct support and get themselves into check the best they can. And those self concious people that are determined to reflect and change do not deserve the acidic stigma and bile that this bonified official personality dissorder gets on the end of, by the uneducated.
Of course those who have NPD and don't want to reflect, challenge themselves and do the shadow work in order to change, deserve less empathy. Those that are willing to cause harm through toxic abusive behaviours. Fuck those cunts.
But all people with narcissism are the same. One size does not fit all.
The stigma is positively being promoted by society and gives those that want change very little chance to get ahead. The shaming culture can really hold some people's recovery back a long way or just plain derail it.
You here the words narcissistic and narcissism every five minutes in shallow gossiping and bitching and/or lazy put downs and in stupid passive aggressive social media memes designed to take cowardly swipes at people from behind a keyboard and screen or fucking smart phone. Very toxic behaviours, ironically.
Stigma and bullying towards and around NPD needs to be addressed far more and far more openly and understanding of the actual dissorder needs to be promoted.
Disorder can be fixed and put back into order. It is literally possible despite the inaccuracies put out there that a narcissistic can never change. False. They can. Those that want too, can. I've met these people and seen impressive transformations and growth.
People are what they are for reasons. People have back stories. NPD doesn't come from nowhere. It's not a choice someone makes. It's a dissorder, not a decision.
We can all help and encourage people with NPD to change their mind sets with the right help and support and help them change their narrative.
And fuck know that can save other people a whole load of drama.
I'm not here on my soap box because I have NPD, I don't and I have the paperwork to prove it! I do however have BPD and I am aware I have some mid to low key narcissistic comorbid traits when I slip into a dark borderline melt down. I am however fully aware NOW and the work has been done and is continuously practiced to negate such maladaptive behaviours. Behaviours I learned as a child to survive what was a messy time.
We all have some narcissistic traits to some degree Wether you care to reflect on it or not, let alone admit it. All of us apart from the very very self aware well balanced, well tuned, well adjusted and fortunate few (the wise ones) have narcissism in us from time to time to varying non linear degrees.
I know some people with NPD and pretty much all of them are okay. Good people in fact mist of them. They're doing the work necessary to overcome it and be their best versions of themselves humanly possible.
I know of some narcissistic cases that are not good people and are destructive and harmful. I keep a wide berth.
That said I know a fuck ton of people who are not deemed narcissistic or borderline or antisocial or schitziod or blablabla, that are selfish, deceptive, self serving, destructive and plain dishonest and more. People with no official diagnosis or suspected personality dissorder. These people are popular and do okay and some incredibly well in life. But their cunts. No buzz words or stigma levelled against them though. Truly covert. Stealth.
The upshot is, remember that some actual real diagnosed narcissists, humans with back stories who are officially diagnosed with NPD try really really really hard to be "normal" good responsible people.
Kudos to them. Nuff said.
Thanks to livesnotlabels for the material.