• IdiotTheWise

Lesson 17 (5) Doing Mind vs Being Mind.

Updated: Dec 10, 2019

My Pledge Regarding "PLEASE" DBT emotional regulation skills and practices.

On Monday the 18th of November 2019 our DBT class learned about and discussed at depth a set of DBT skills and practices called "Doing Mind vs Being Mind", of which I will write about more this week. The key piece of these skills I want to briefly write about today is the "PLEASE" section of these skills.

PLEASE skills:

As agreed with Deb, we have all been asked to absolutely commit to at least one of these health building skills/goals/ambitions above this week and keep track of our commitment and write and share about our experiences in the forum as time goes by during our course of therapy. We have been encouraged to pick a PLEASE subject and that we know we need to work on and get right to aid our DBT progress.

Fair enough. I need to choose two areas in which I struggle.I could pick three but I need to be realistic as this DBT skills practicing thing is piling up! So:

  • Sleep (balance)

  • Eating (balance)

(I have other things I need to get right but I am very mindful of what they are and how to do it. In fact I just need to look at my routine in regards to them and a certain social circle!)

PLEASE skills are not skills designed to deal with an emotional emergency or as distress tolerance skills as such but as and emotional regulation skill designed to aid the prevention of an emotional melt down through good self care practices. These healthy practices that most people find second nature in the whole are life skills we did not learn as children and teenagers and young adults because they were never taught to us by our parents/guardians. And it's now that we must learn and practice these skills with discipline. It's not easy but it will pay off dividends.

These skills will aid our neural rerouting and help us change our patterns of thought. Discipline is key though and so is self compassion (not beating ourselves up) when we don't get it right. But it's vital we keep trying until it clicks and gets easier to practice.

PLEASE skills will improve physical and emotional resiliency by helping us to prepare our physical nervous system. It's hand in hand. It's all connected. Be mindful of the intrinsic connections of body and mind.

Vital: Never ignore physical health and body, weight, size issues!

Okay. I could really really get into this and write a long rambling thing like I do sometimes, abut the whole PLEASE subject but I haven't got time. Instead I'll add my notes from note book from class when I get phone working again as I dropped it in my washing up!

My commitments:

Sleep (balance)

I struggle with sleep very much, either with not enough sleep through anxiety/insomnia or with far to much sleep through depression depending on circumstance. Long story short, in a nut shell, my sleeping patterns are very unhealthy and need to be addressed and balanced out.

It's catch 22 but there are things I can and need to do to help my sleeping pattern normalize. They seem like obvious steps but I am stuck in some very unhealthy patterns that I need to break in order to solve this sleep issue.

So as part of my commitment to my sleeping health (and sleeping updates in class forum) I will as of Monday the 2nd of December , pledge to work on the following steps and share an honest account of them:


  • Early nights. Bed by 9pm.

  • 1 hour of blue screen content only and strictly! - I will struggle with this but I will commit. "Clean Sleep" as they call it.

  • Clean, hygienic bed. Comfort.

  • No more night shifts - a complicated issue but I am forcing that issue.

  • Busy full days. Work hard. Gym in the day. Get tired out.

  • Up early and to work. No picking and choosing tasks and time. Get in, get it done.

I won't say much more on this right now. I'll let my first update entry to the talking next week to see how I am faring and how I am going to force change my night working routine. I gotta get this right! No matter what.

Commitment for health!

Eating (balance)

Eating is a "thing" for me and always has been. I have done both end of the scales from eating next to nothing but apples in order to get thin because I was stuck in a "I'm fat" loop of thought. I know why but that's a another thing for another time and binge eating, emotional eating, over eating, when wading through intense borderline psychotic depression and self loathing.

Food has been and can be a go to maladaptive self soothing coping mechanism. Both ends of the scale has detrimental affects on my mental and physical health. The short term reward of comfort eating is just not worth the long term negative affects on my health. It's been an issue. A bit like my "beer drinking" issue. Very similar in shape.

Again, as above, my commitment plan, in a nut shell, is as follows:

Eat at sensible times. Nothing rigid but sensible. No late night snacking.

Eat regularly.

Eat small and healthy and clean.

Make shopping list - be mindful of food buying when hungry!

One takeaway a week, no more. Money/Waist!

Drink more H2o.

Portion sizes. Keep them sensible.

More green tea rather than coffee. Food/drink that effect emotions!

The obvious thing: Fruit/veg. Be mindful!

It's not so much what I eat, it's more how much I eat and when I eat it. Bad patterns to address.

These commitments above to my sleep and diet routines will have a huge positive affects on my life, mentally, emotionally and physically. It's all hand in hand!!!!

These commitments will have a good knock on affect to my next set of commitments and goals re exercise and substance abuse (beer) to be focused on soon.

So, that's it. That's the focus for now. Dem's the breaks!

I will post my updates here, on this thread once they have been dealt with in class.

Life goals at 42! FFS. LOL's.


Update 10.12.19

Briefly describe something that is challenging in your life but non judgementally:

My sleep pattern at the moment is somewhat back to front and needs to be addressed with urgency. I need to be getting earlier nights in bed in order to wake up and get up and get active earlier and keep going and be able to tackle the gym and excersise challenge with a mindful refreshed feeling. I know what I nee d to put in place but I am struggling with thee steps. I really want to get this done and feel better about myself. A more focused pro active approach will be beneficial to achieving these goals.

I have had enough of night shifts and feeling like sheeeeeat!


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