27.5.4 continued. ISFP. The Jungian bit. My personality type.
Jungian. Not onion.
What does ISFP stand for?
ISFP is an acronym used to describe one of the sixteen personality types created by Katharine Briggs and Isabel Myers. It stands for Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving. ISFP indicates a person who is energized by time spent alone (Introverted), who focuses on facts and details rather than ideas and concepts (Sensing), who makes decisions based on feelings and values (Feeling) and who prefers to be spontaneous and flexible rather than planned and organized (Perceiving).
ISFPs are sometimes referred to as Composer personalities because of their innate sensibility for creating aesthetically pleasing experiences.
The ISFP Personality Type
ISFPs are gentle caretakers who live in the present moment and enjoy their surroundings with cheerful, low-key enthusiasm. They are flexible and spontaneous, and like to go with the flow to enjoy what life has to offer. ISFPs are quiet and unassuming, and may be hard to get to know. However, to those who know them well, the ISFP is warm and friendly, eager to share in life's many experiences. ISFPs have a strong aesthetic sense and seek out beauty in their surroundings. They are attuned to sensory experience, and often have a natural talent for the arts. ISFPs especially excel at manipulating objects, and may wield creative tools like paintbrushes and sculptor's knives with great mastery.
Taken from an ISFP test result online.
Pretty accurate apart from living in the moment. That's only true to a degree to be fair. When I do, cushty. When I don't, I'm a seething mass of aggresive anxiety. That's partly why I'm in DBT therapy. I want to live in the moment more than I currently know how too. A skill I was never taught as a youngster because of trauma and a fucking life time upheaval.
More (Screenshots) :
Working in mental health (ironically) back in the early to mid 2000's with Winton Resource Centre (social services) and Peer House (MIND) (between another engineering industrial job) and at Steadway Care from 2008 or 2009 I think, was in my element.
The above screenshot explains why perfectly.
So yes, that's part of me for sure. I would love to return to the care sector one day but in a teaching capacity. It's on my bucket list that one.
I am very interested in all things moral and the complex philisophies involved. I can often see how things can be improved or should be improved. I care about society and I get passionate when engaged in conversation or actions to do with society, politics, ethics etc. It matters to me.
That's also why I am on a quest to become a better version of me. The mistakes, the bad things I have done, the abuses and horrid behavioursI have metted out, matter. I care. And I will not repeat them. Mental illness, emotional deficient, neuro wiring faults, or not! I care. So never again.
Make the world a better place.
The butterfly effect is real.
Allegedly I am:
Again, to a degree, some of this is true.
Certainly I like to work effiently and get involved in problem solving, trouble shooting and development of new systems and solutions in the work place. Industrial setting particularly. I thrive in that environment when I am well and happy and focused. I've done really well in the engineering and print environments. Valued. Involved.
I found it hard to engage in such though, in the care sector because of the vast amounts of ego's involved, back stabbing and one up-manship. So I stepped back and concentrated on the "people" in care. The bit I loved.
Looking back now, with a healthier mind and clearer understanding of myself, I know had I had been sound of mind, I should have bailed on my job at Steadway Care in 2012 and carried on else where. I would have been happier and I would have been more willing to get involved in career development. Hey ho. Lessons in life.
I still want to be a spaceman when I grow up though 🚀.
It goes on further.....
I mean, I gotta laugh at some of this considering where I have come from, what I am recovering from and how I have behaved in the past.
But this is now. It's tested on the "now" so I have to remember not to berate myself for my BPD Ill behaviour of the past.
The intro bit to the above screenshot is on the money. Its all true and I feel that with passion.
The happiness thing is true. Past 8 years though, within it, fucked me up and bought out the "horrid" symptoms of mental illness in me. They were not always happy times and I forgot that I am entitled to be happy too. I also forgot that my ex deserved happiness and I lost her. I was lost. No help. No way out. Gone.
Now I am out to be happy and when the time is right and I am properly ready, try again, get it right, more right than ever before.
I have got it right in the past. I can again. And not get ill.
The core values and key motivator lists above are bang on too. When I'm not mentally fucking ill and my true self, not being a horrible cunt, I'm all of those things.
I feel I'm getting there again, stronger than ever.
Excuse the vast amounts of self affirmation statements above but I'v not been able to say or think anything positive about myself for yeeears and years. I can now and so I will. It takes practice and the practice is essential.
Self affirmation. Because I'm not a cunt, despite what "they" say about me. I'm a good man, bouncing back to life.
And the above is true also apart from the wide range of friends bit perhaps. I have a billion "pub" friends from all kinds of backgrounds it's true and the same goes for people I know just for small talk in the street but my real friends, my actual real social circle is small. I like it that way. I can cope that way. Those friends I "let in", I love.
When I was ill, I was extremely lonely and isolated alot. Even when around friends and crowds, I was very lonely. Sick. My head was soooooo ill. I was like a ghost looking in at life. Horrible. Upsets me now. So unwell.
No one understood.
Now, my mates are my lifeline. I am grateful.
The ISFP report goes on and on and although insightful and interesting, nothing relevant worth noting here.
I'm glad I did this as requested though. Thought invoking and some good reminders about my positive attributes and my personality "type".
A good reminder also that we are not all alike. Thank fuck.
My mini workbook is hand written and done. To personal and private for this blog and to anyone that's not me or my DBT famalam, to fucking boring, no doubt!
Now, go away.